By Kwaneta Harris
From PHN Issue 56, Spring 2024
At 51, living in a solitary confinement cell in Texas increases my likelihood of an early death. It’s a daily fight to remain physically and emotionally healthy. I’ve been incarcerated 17 years, with seven and a half in the hole. Texas is known for its brutal prison conditions: No air conditioning. No ability for anyone to purchase individualized TVs. A two-page commissary list for everyone. Although, on paper, we are allowed out of our cell daily for a shower and outdoor/indoor recreation, that’s seldom enforced. I developed a regimented daily routine. As a Black woman, I know I’m at risk for diabetes, obesity, hypertension, and stroke. As a former nurse, I know how to combat the harm this box was designed to do.
I awaken at 3 a.m. to a cold cell. I turn my travel-size blow dryer on for heat. I begin stretching, doing yoga poses, and complete my morning hygiene routine. I stand on one foot while I brush my teeth. I write my name with my non-dominant hand 10 times. My radio blasts NPR. I complete jumping jacks and tidy up my cell. By 3:45 a.m., breakfast arrives. It’s very unappealing, including crumbled, greasy pork swimming
in white gravy and a half-raw biscuit. A soup of tasteless oatmeal—I consume the thick gruel.
I journal for 10 minutes, read something in Spanish, practice juggling with balled socks, and then settle down to write for the next six hours. My alarm rings hourly, and that’s my signal to complete 15 minutes of chores before returning to write. In these 15-minute increments, I dance, work out, cook, hand-wash laundry, clean the cell, bathe, and sing aloud.
Every time I go to the shower, I regret it. The coffin-sized, unventilated, single shower that 43 women share because the others are unrepairable is the site of my first and third COVID contaminations. The water is ice cold in the winter and scalding hot in the summer. Staff routinely leave us in it for over an hour. The shower preceded my heat stroke in 2022. The shower is the source of seizures and COVID. This results in many of us washing ourselves by filling our sinks with water and using a bowl to pour water over our bodies.
After lunch, I read for five hours, making notes in margins. This time, my 15-minute increments are split between cardio and improvised strength training, using cases of water bottles and plates for weights. After dinner, I respond to letters and e-messages for three to four hours. I bathe, meditate, and plan the next day.
In addition to maintaining physical health and brain health, I battle medical personnel by demanding the healthcare to which I am entitled. Annual mammograms, pelvic exams, physicals, eye exams, and dental cleanings. Studies show that having gum disease is correlated with plaque in your blood vessels, increasing the risk of stroke or heart attack. I never simply take the prison primary care doctor’s word for specialized care. I always request a second opinion, then a specialist. I’ve been treated by dermatologists (skin doctors), podiatrists (foot doctors), cardiologists (heart doctors), and neurologists (nerve/brain doctors). In every situation, the primary care doctor’s easy-fix diagnosis
was inaccurate.
I realize every medication has side effects. I weigh the risks of taking Tylenol. Thankfully, I don’t have to contend with the side effects of psychiatric medications. I don’t drink soda, only black coffee, tea, and water. Unfortunately, we only have access to a two-page commissary shopping list for all people who are incarcerated in Texas. This is unlike other states, which have catalogs. Our choices are mostly unhealthy. I stick to oatmeal, nuts, and fish, in addition to supplemental vitamins purchased from the commissary.
Eating as healthy as possible, exercising, learning new things, and increasing balancing skills all serve to counter the effects of sedentary aging. My current project is consuming my meals every other day with
intermittent fasting. During meal time, I will keep trying to eat sitting cross-legged on the concrete floor and to raise myself without assistance from my hands. I have no interest in knowing the prison gossip. The convict news network (CNN) does not appeal to me.
People always ask how I maintain my inner peace and joy. It is a daily fight.
Prison Health News 