November 1, 2020
By Leo Cardez
Illinois Department of Corrections
“This is some crazy ass shit; and I thought I’d seen it all after twenty years in the joint.” Murder*, my COVID wing co-worker, lamented while shaking his head. We were dragging yet another fellow inmate to the hospital wing of our prison. Murder is a seasoned con from the streets of Chicago’s South side, but I swear I saw a tear in his eye.
There were four of us glorified janitors working in the makeshift quarantine wing of our prison. Besides cleaning, we were tasked with moving and caring for sick (even dead) inmates. At the peak of our coronavirus outbreak, we worked seven days a week double shifts, sweating through our full PPE—too busy to even stop and eat. It was only at the end of the day, during my shower, that I would finally have a moment to catch my breath. Sometimes I would break down, hiding my tears as the warm water washed over me. My co-workers and I suffered everything from nightmares to migraines. We lost and gained weight at an alarming rate. We slept sporadically and were often depressed or angry. Double D, my morning co-worker, said it best, “We are never going to be the same after this… you cannot unsee or undo this type of damage.”
Continue reading “Saving Your Mind: Mental Health in the Age of COVID”