Urge Surfing

By Ms. Gege
From PHN Issue 51, Winter 2023

Urge Surfing is a technique for managing your unwanted behaviors. Rather than giving in to an urge, you will ride it out like a surfer rides a wave. After a short time, the urge will pass on its own. This technique can be used to stop or reduce any unwanted behaviors or habits, including emotional reactions such as “blowing up” when angry, overeating, and other unwanted behaviors.

How to Practice Urge Surfing
1. Acknowledge you are having an urge.
2. Notice your thoughts and feelings without trying to change or suppress them.
Note: It’s okay to feel some discomfort during an urge.
3. Remind yourself…

  • It’s okay to have urges. They are natural reactions to addictions and habits.
  • An urge is a feeling, not a “must.” I can have this feeling and choose not to act.
  • Some discomfort is okay. I don’t have to change it.
  • An urge is temporary. Like any other feelings, it will pass on its own.

Managing Triggers
Use coping skills to reduce the power of triggers. Know your triggers ahead of time, and have a strategy or skill prepared for each one. (See below for coping skills.)

Distraction & Delay
Do something to take your mind off the urge. Every minute you delay increases the chance of the urge weakening on its own.

Coping Skills
Developing good coping skills is important, especially when it gets rough. I’ve listed several coping skills I use in my days to overcome those unwanted behaviors.
1. Exercise: walk, jog, lift weights, practice yoga
2. Socialize: call a friend or family member, eat a meal with a friend, join a group
3. Responsibilities: clean your living quarters, do some homework
4. Hobbies: play sports, draw something, play music, play cards, paint, cook
5. Personal Care: dress up, get a haircut, prepare a healthy meal, tend to spiritual needs, shave

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